Lad and Gentlewoman
by outsiders
Summary: [AU][Crack] What if princess in shinning Gundam forgets to save prince in distress? An AsuCaga OneShot.


Lad and Gentlewoman

A Gundam Seed Fanfic

Disclaimer: If I own GS or GSD in any way, I'll be bashed up by the AsuCaga fans and not join them.

Warning: CRACK! A little bit of one-sided yaoi, and some gender switching.

For Eve, Haibara, Ger (who had beta-ed this) and Leo (for letting me hijack your account once again). Happy Christmas y'all!

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Once upon a time, in a far away land where peace reigned, there was a rich and handsome billionaire named Prince Cagalli, or as some, who replace the 'agalli' with 'harming'call him, Prince Charming. If you had, for a moment thought that his extensive fan club consisted of _only_ girls, then my, you have been terribly mistaken. Prince Charming was, as his name suggested, VERY charming. In fact, he was so charming that he even attracted guys on a fairly regular basis. Even his biggest fan was a gay mouse, uh, gay guy, uhm, I mean, I mean a guy called Jona, who was currently pestering the beloved Prince Cagalli while he was working his ass off signing useless documents that had almost nothing to do with his company, ORB. He only just tries to appear all business-like and tire himself just so his girlfriend can worry about his health and state-of-mind.

Cagalli was rather annoyed by Jona's presence. He had plenty of useless documents to sign which he had been working on for the past day and he'd really missed his girlfriend a lot. Usually, Cagalli wouldn't mind signing the documents because it's like giving the other companies free autographs, but something was bugging him. Okay, not just some thing, but some _things_.

One being the annoying purple gay mouse, I mean Jona, who fortunately had left for the moment, andthe other being his clock. It flashed 25th December in red while below the date was the time, 18:55. Cagalli frowned, trying to remember why 25th December seemed so familiar.

Cagalli flipped his calendar open. Nope, no office meetings. No birthdays or anniversaries or memorable celebrations. And then, he stared at his coffee mug (a red and green one) which was sadly empty because Jona was slacking off.

A thought was fast approaching- he just knew it! 25th December... it was just so obvious then!BUT SUDDENLY...

"OH, MY DEAR SWEET CAGALLI-SAMA! MUAH MUAH MUAH!" Jonas screamed, bursting into Cagalli's office blowing tons of air kisses around. Cagalli rubbed his temples, feeling the onslaught of a migraine fast approaching.

"PRINCE CHARMING, I MEAN PRINCE CAGALLI, MARRY ME! COME LET'S RUN TO THE SUNSET." Jona proclaimed loudly.

Cagalli gave him a pointed glare. "Firstly, gay mouse, I mean Jona, I'm not gay. I have nothing against gays, personally," he gritted out before grumbling in a softer voice, "except this one," then continued in his previous tone, "but I'm straight. I have a girlfriend whom I INTEND to marry. And just in case you are blind, because it's winter, the sun set at 1700 hours today, so there is no sunset to run off to." He gave a shudder, feeling his patience thinning soon.

-- Conversation between the rational and irrational sides of Cagalli --

Irrational: That creep! Come on Cagalli! Give him a well deserved punch!

Rational: No Cagalli! This will hurt your fist! This will hurt your reputation!

Irrational: Don't listen to it! That gay mouse will be in pain, won't you just love to see that insipid look of pain on his face? (Cagalli nodded his head in agreement.)

Rational: NO CAGALLI-SAMA! You wouldn't want your father to suddenly jump out of his grave in the middle of the night to haunt you like the last time you punched someone!

-- End of conversation --

Cagalli shuddered involuntarily at the thought. Jona thought that Cagalli was shuddering due to the cold and wanted to put its arm around him.

CAGALLI SNAPPED! (Irrational side: GO CAGALLI-SAMA!) He clenched his fist and as it neared the target (the nose), he heard noises…

---

Meanwhile, a girl with beautiful silky blue hair and pretty green eyes was standing outside her huge mansion. She shivered a little in the cold winter night as all she was wearing was a sleeveless green dress (which she had hoped would bring out her eyes) and wondered where her date was. Glancing at her watch, she noted that Cagalli was an hour late. She had tried calling his phone, but Cagalli wasn't picking it up at all.

Earlier on, her friends Kira and Lacus had already gone to the dance which the four of them had planned to go together. Glancing once more at her watch, the ever-patient girl could take it no more. Cagalli had to PAY for making her wait.

With that thought in mind, she walked to the back of her house, somewhere she rarely went since the war had ended five years ago. Her quick fingers typed in the password to assess the storage. The large door opened to reveal a...

---

Back to Cagalli who was facing a wee bit of trouble. That was, trying to escape from his fan girls without having to jump down a hundred and one storeys.

Apparently, Jona's loud declaration had alerted a lot of Cagalli's fans who worked downstairs. Screams of "NOOOOOOOO!!! CAGALLI IS MINE!" or "TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF MY CAGALLI!" could be heard as they thundered upward to his office in the hundreds.

While Cagalli was glad that he could finally get rid of Jona, he realized yet another disaster- his fans, with seemingly murderous glints in their eyes. "Oh no... Where's my phone when I need it? Damn! I chucked it out of the window when it kept ringing. Ohh, I hoped it didn't kill anyone since it dropped from the 101 floor, because I sure don't want to die so young either. Oh crap, they are coming closer..." he whispered to himself.

Cagalli was cornered and he silently prayed that someone would come to his resuce. Anyone, even God, or his girlfriend, even if she needed to come in a –

His thoughts were shattered immediately, much like how the windows had. Cagalli felt his eyes grow larger by the second as his little wish suddenly came true.

-- Flashback --

She sat in the cockpit, and even though she had not touched it for a long time, her body had already memorized each movement. In an instant, the machine started, and above it, the ceilings opened to reveal a starry night.

"Athrun Zala, Jealous, LAUNCH!"

And the Gundam flew in the direction of the ORB office, scaring many people who thought war had once again been stirred up. This caused many unintentional heart attacks, maybe a stroke or two, especially since it was so unlikely to see such a sight on a peaceful, lovely night like this one. Well, they were quite right, except thankfully, it wasn't their war. But a war is still a war, and there are bound to be people who died.

-- End of Flashback --

People were screaming everywhere, some had cardiac arrest, and those not were already dead because of it. Jona, who had just woke up from his concussion after getting beaten up by Cagalli's fan girls, immediately fainted again when he saw the Gundam's hand crashing the window, as though reaching to squeeze his intestines out. His head knocked against the floor with a thud which sounded like a block of wood hitting the ground, blood trickled out and a second later, he died (and on his grave said R.I.D., which meant Rest in Disturbance).

While Jealous was hovering in the air, the door to the cockpit opened, revealing Athrun still in her pretty green dress which was meant to bring out her eyes. It had certainly worked, too well in fact, for now, Cagalli was cowering back.

"Ah... Green eyed monster, I MEAN ATHRUN, you know, th- there isn't really a need to seed mode now, you know..." He tried to soothe her temper with his hypnotic voice, which might had work if Cagalli's amber eyes did not betray his fear.

Athrun frowned. Cagalli gulped. Then suddenly Athrun noticed a TOWERING pile of documents which despite the wreck Jealous had caused, was still sitting nicely on the blonde-haired billionaire's destroyed table. "It sure has a strong fortress huh?" Athrun thought, a little irked because she knew that was what had kept her date. An idea slowly formed and she smirked.

Controlling the Gundam with precision, the hand grabbed hold of the 'free autographs' that Cagalli had been slaving over for the past 24 hrs and threw them to the crowd downstairs.

Those who were slowly recovering from their heart attack at the ground floor watched papers floating down towards them. One girl grabbed hold of a piece and saw Cagalli's signature on it. Immediately, she squealed something like Prince Cagalli's autograph! and decides to run up (101 floors no less) to meet said person. This triggered yet another fanatic rush as boys and girls dashed up to meet their idol. All seemed to have forgotten about Jealous's presence.

Meanwhile, Cagalli's eyes widen in fear. While he might be a bit ticked that his hard work for the past 24 hours had gone crashing down (literally), he knew that something much worse in store and he could almost hear it. In fact, he could see it on Athrun's laughing face which, on normal days he would be so glad to return to, but this time, he dreaded it.

"Cagalli, many years ago, I'd heard this fairytale from my mother since my father was too embarrassed to mention it. The story goes that once upon a time, a prince/knight was captured by a gay mouse. The princess in shinning Gundam then came to slay gay mouse, but forgot to save knight in distress. But somehow, the prince managed to come back, disheveled and all. The prince decided to forgive her and then they married, living happily ever after. Even till now, I thought it was the coolest fairytale and I wish it could happen. So Cagalli, my prince in distress, will you fulfill it for me?"

Athrun pouted prettily, Cagalli gulped, unable to resist her puppy looks, then nodded slowly. Athrun smiled and for a moment, Cagalli felt like jumping into the cockpit to hug her.

But, "Right, so this is where I forget to save you. Goodbye my dear knight. And merry Christmas in case you have forgotten!"

"Merry Christmas...?" Cagalli wondered, "Oh no! Today is Christmas and I was supposed to bring Athrun to the dance! And did she just say this is where I forget to save you...?" Upon hearing the thundering sound outside his office, Cagalli could only mutter an "Oh no..." as he watched the door close and Jealous flying off.

_Well, at least he would come back, despite being disheveled, forgive Athrun for DUMPING him there, marry her and live happily ever after right?_ Right. But that's _only_ if our darling Prince Cagalli survives.

End.

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A/N: I'll first apologise for wasting your time reading this crap. Flame me for all you want, they will all end up in Leo's mail box (evil laugh). 


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